From one parent to another, I wanted to give you some advice I have recently come to realize over the past few years.
I have three kids ages 16, 13 and 6. I had the same goals for them all when they were small. Mostly things I read about while searching for ways to parent my children.
As my children got older I was able to start seeing them as little independent individuals and my mindset started to change about a few things.
About 3 years ago I read something that not only changed my perspective but it also changed the future for my children.
You only have 18 summers with your children.Some smart parent on Facebook
My eyes filled with tears as I realized I only had 5 summers left with my oldest (now I only have 2). This made me realize that there are closed handed things we have established as rules and we set certain boundaries for them. However, I realized I wasn’t doing a good job preparing them for life, helping them understand who THEY ARE currently or encourage who THEY WILL become.
I was so caught up by fear of what could go wrong. I looked at what others were doing with their children and did the same for mine.
I realized every family and each child is different. I realized I needed to lighten up and become a mom not constantly in fear for her children’s future but a mom who is so excited to see what these amazing people will become. Our children are afraid because we are. They see it even if we don’t say it. We instill insecurities in them when we hold them back from trying new things simply because WE are afraid of what MIGHT happen.
I love seeing my kids embracing life and challenge themsleves to try new things. Is it scary sometimes? ABSOLUTELY! But it is so rewarding to trust them and see their faces light up when they accomplish what they set out to do.
I love sitting down and having conversations with them about what they want their life to be. It’s never too early to do this. In fact, the earlier the better. The more excited you are about their future, the more they will be. They are experiencing things they do not understand and they need YOU to be their safe place.
Be there to listen, encourage them and give them age appropriate advice no matter what it is. Trust me, I have a teenage boy so I know how some of these questions can go.
The most important advice is this… Live life with them and not for them.
Here is a social media post I did recently that will sum up this article.
Do you ever look at your kids when they are not paying attention and wonder what they will become? Who will they choose as their spouse? What kind of a mom/ dad will they be? Will they carry on my mistakes? Or will they strive to always be the best they can be? Will they live each day with intention? Pray for your kids now. Teach them what it means to be a husband/ wife and a mother/ father by your actions. Spend time with them because they will be gone soon. Let them decide who they will be…Don’t decide for them. Support them where they are now. Understand who they are now. Be intentional every day when you wake up in the morning. Encourage who they want to become. And when they get there, be there always ❤️-Me